Can of whoop-ass about to be opened

BEREA, SC. A local dad Walter McMahon is about to open a can of whoop-ass on local resident Jimmy Edgewood (17)for kissing his step-daughter when he said not too. Caitlin Jenkins (17) invited Edgewood over to her house to watch TV and her dad eventually left to go to the store, but not before telling Edgewood to 'keep his hands' off Jenkins. “My Dad ran out of beer so he made a quick run to the Go-Mart and I figured it would be a little 'alone time' for me and Jimmy” said Jenkins in an interview “ I guess he forgot something so he headed back home and opened the front door when we were on the couch kissing” she added. McMahon reportedly stared yelling at Edgewood to stay away from his step-daughter, in which he responded by running out the back door toward the street without any shoes on. “Next time I see that boy, ima open a can of whoop-ass on him” McMahon said after Edgewood left the property. Jenkins stated that her dad bought 3 cans of whoop-ass last year when it went on sale at the store, and two of the can have already been used up. When asked about the three cans of whoop-ass, McMahon began to explain what the first two were used for, “I used up one when that no-good asshole next door kept letting his dogs shit on my grass and the other can was used just last week when the backhoe moron at the excavation company was diggin' a pool across the alley and he dropped a load of dirt on my ol' engine blocks sittin' out back. Man was I pissed, he definitely got his ass handed to him that day” People in the neighborhood also report that McMahon has quite the temper with people he doesn’t like. “That old boy Walter loves his step-daughter like nobody else, so it doesn’t surprise me that he will whoop somebody’s ass for her” said Judy Newman, a long time neighbor of McMahon and Jenkins for 8 years. At press time Edgewood was unable to be found by anyone.

(ABOVE) The Can of whoop-ass that is about to be opened.