Time Traveler surprised to learn Sears is still in business
BOSTON, MA. Time Traveler Johnny Harron from the year 1996, announced surprise Wednesday after learning that department store chain Sears is still in business in the year 2013. “Sears? Really?” asked Harron in an interview “I figured they would be gone by 2005 at the latest, how are they still making money?” he added. Harron came to 2013 to see if we had found a cure for the common headache, but went back to 1996 to inform others about Sears. Harron, who spent an hour looking for a Borders bookstore, was apparently unaware that K-Mart is still in business as well.
Supreme Court ruling on where to go for lunch.
WASHINGTON, DC. The nine justices of the Supreme Court have been spending the last two hours ruling on where to go for lunch. “I think we should go get some Mexican, but Judge Clarence Thomas wants to just pick up something from Sonic” said Chief Justice John Roberts “Oh Fuck it, now Ruth Bader Ginsburg wants Chinese takeout” Chief Justice Roberts added. An inside source reported that Judge Sonia Sotomayor is just going to get some chips out of the Supreme Court vending machine if the Justices can’t ‘make a fucking ruling soon’.
You Smell nice
PROVO, UT. According to a recent study, you smell nice today. Is that a new perfume you are wearing? I like it. What does it smell like? It almost smells like lavender and sandalwood, but I think I sense some cinnamon as well. Reports show that you smelled good yesterday as well, but not as nice as today. The study shows that you smelled like apples yesterday, and the pleasantness wasn't as good, and it wasn't as strong.
No comments:
Post a Comment