Discussion about the DeLorean doesn't include Back to the Future reference.

BETTENDORF, IA. Employees at PlasTeck Plastics Company recently had watercooler discussion about the DeLorean sports car. What made this discussion unique is that nobody in the four person conversation mentioned that the DeLorean was used in the 1985 film Back to the Future, a commonly known fact that it always brought up in every single DeLorean discussion, even though everybody knows it. The exchange begun last week after Herb Maxwell, accounts receivable, mentioned that he saw a DeLorean last week while coming back from the grocery store. “It was going west on Maplecrest Rd., it was the first time I've seen one of those in years” said Maxwell. By this time, 3 more employees were standing around the watercooler, and a full-on discussion was happening. “My boyfriend had one back in College, it was a pretty fun car to ride around in. I wonder what ever happened to that car?” said Lana Shipman, sales assistant. After an additional 10 minutes of discussion about sports, weather, and the new guy in sales, the group split up and went back to work when the boss was spotted.

Everything at lunch declared a vegetable

ATCHISON, KS. Students at local High Schools can rest easy now knowing that everything they eat at school is officially classified as a vegetable. The Atchison County School Board brought this matter to attention at a school board meeting last week. More than half of all the people at the meeting were in favor of calling everything the school serves an edible plant. Congress has already made pizza a vegetable and according to Atchison Schools, so is cheese, hamburgers, Sun Chips, chocolate pudding and even the Styrofoam serving tray.  “This is a huge step forward for the future of America’s children. Knowing that double cheeseburgers are vegetables will make students want to eat more and cut back on the obesity problem, they can even gnaw on the Styrofoam tray guilt-free if they want. ” said Dennis Hellman, head of the school board. The students at the High Schools are all on board with the idea saying it is a great change. “I never really ate pudding too much, but now that it is a vegetable, I will start eating it more” said Katy Anderson, junior. A few of the students are being stubborn and are refusing to eat the new vegetables “The school is being really gay. Why do they care if I eat vegetables or not, they can blow it out their ass” said Trevor McLean, senior pot-head. According to teachers, they have already noticed a difference in the way students feel. They say that students are more energetic and eager to learn eating vegetables like chocolate cookies than they were eating junk food like chocolate cookies for lunch. “We feel like the better our students eat, the better our state test scores will be; this means more money for our school to use for new books and computers” said Karan Wineman, Principal at Atchison H.S. Other schools around the state are now expected to make the same change, and eventually so are schools across the country. The schools next step is to get tax write offs by declaring the rocks in the earth science class as holy religious tools.

Police Beat; 7-9-12

ALLENTOWN, PA. White male in mid to late 30's. Stealing Garden Gnomes and producing a Public Access show called “Garden Gnome Theatre”. No identity is known since nobody watches Public Access television

DAYTON, OH. 27 yr. Old male arrested for saying YOLO, than doing something he does a few times a month.

WACO, TX. Middle age woman charged with tax fraud after claiming her ceramic cats as well as her real cats as children on Income Tax.

GADSDEN, AL. Male, age 43 arrested for asking random women if they want to see some “fireworks” then pulling his pants down.

July 4th weather forecast