High
School student eats first Lunchable since 4th grade.
RUTLAND,
VT. Katie Drathkin, a senior at Rutland High School, just ate a
Lunchable for the first time in eight years, her Facebook reports.
“Just ate my
first lunchable since like the 4th grade! :P” Drathkin said earlier
today. Most of her friends were startled by hearing this. “Lunchables
were invented many years after the Vietnam War ended” said Larson
Kessler, a friend of Drathkin. It is unknown when Drathkin will
consume another lunchable, but sources say it will likely be in 4-6
more years.
Man with frequent customer card asked if he's been here before
FRESNO, CA. Eric Amsten, a Fresno area furniture salesman, was asked if he had ever been to get a sub at Downtown Ned's Tasty Subs, after he was presented his punch card which contained 7 punches, only 5 away from a free deluxe combo meal. “Have you ever eaten our subs before?” saked Ashley McMurry, the person who made the turkey sub after Amsten made his purchase. “I'm not sure if she saw my punch card or not, but she wasn't making anybody else a sub, so I'm sure she had a good chance to see the punch card” said Amsten. Amsten answed “Yes, I have been here before” then left the shop with a confused look on his face.
Pacific Coast states renamed “Democrat Belt”
WEST COAST, USA. After the 2012 Presidential election, the West Coast states, including California, Oregon, and Washington have been renamed the Democrat Belt by locals. “I voted for Obama since he has no money and Romney has a lot” said Madison Kelly, a liberal from California who voted for the first time on Nov. 6th. Residents from all three states are in favor of the name change saying it well help identify their part of the country. “This ought to keep those nasty, rich, successful Republicans out of here” said Kenny Lancaster, an Obama supporter from Washington. After seeing this change, the states of Wisconsin Iowa, South Dakota and Nebraska are planning on calling themselves the Casserole Belt.
